Thankfully, I had not read the fact sheet stating that amaryllis planted in rocks and water without soil
would not re-bloom.
The photo below proves they will re-bloom.
There was a rebirth.
April 21, 2013
Early in my life, before I went to school, I would step outside to look at my beloved mountain,
this very mountain, Pikes Peak, that lived at the end of my street,
to see if I needed to wear a coat to school.
In the morning, I might have seen blue skies behind this peak,
and so I skipped off to school without a coat.
By afternoon, I walked home shivering in the snow I had not seen coming.
Living in the mountains makes you tough.
The air is rarified.
There is not as much of it up here in my neighborhood.
Living in the mountains has taught me that one is not in control of the seasons.
This season of my life has not been an easy one.
Certainly, I never could have expected that when I turned 65,
|Celebrating my 65th Birthday|
Since that time,
I've needed all the lessons I ever learned in life to take me through this season of grief.
I've learned that grief, like the weather, is very unpredictable.
I've learned that it can make you question everything you ever believed about
I've learned that you find out who your friends are.
And, I've found out that I have many.
From my friends, the true ones, the ones who have prayed for me,
walked with me, cried with me, and laughed with me,
I've learned what true
and mercy look like.
I've experienced the grace of God in ways I could never have known if I had not suffered such great loss.
Loss has taught me that
life is precious
and I hope to live it victoriously.
Loss has taught me that faith is the only thing that gets me through the day,
and the only way I will live victoriously is by faith.
I've learned that while there is life, there is hope, but mostly, I learned that
as Rick Warren recently Tweeted,
Optimism is psychological.
Hope is theological.
I've learned that love means a whole lot more than I ever thought it did.
I've learned that I love my children, all of them, more than life itself.
|Keicha, Jon, Julie, Mom, Amy, Ryan|
Jim's Retirement 2007
He has carried me through it all.
|The love of my life|
This journey has take a toll on my dear husband,
but he is faithful,
Thankfully, he has his best friend, the other one besides me,
to one who never asks for anything,
the one who never gets bogged down by grief, loss, sadness, or illness,
to comfort him and bring a smile to his face.
|Jim & Boston|
His buddy and best friend
the one we thought would be filled with retirement dreams,
my dear husband and I are experiencing day by day struggles with illness, pain, all those other physical side effects of aging.
The seasons of life are unpredictable.
That is certain.
Since one can never really predict the weather, or the aches and pains of aging,
on good days,
we take off to enjoy the beauty of nature around us.
The skies are sometimes threatening, and cloudy, but that does not keep us home.
We are blessed to have such great beauty just several miles from our home.
We've learned that you can't wait for the perfect season, or the perfect day, one must enjoy each day as it comes and give thanks for it.
As a native born mountain girl,
I am taking the lessons I've learned about the seasons to heart.
Spring does not always come when the calendar says it should.
On the 30th of April, we had blue skies, and warm sunny weather for our walk in the neighborhood.
On May 1, I ventured out on the deck to take a photo of our bird bath covered in snow.
One just never knows what to expect from one day to the next with the weather in Colorado!
I am optimistic about the weather. That is a psychological term that I am applying to the coming days.
I know we will soon have blue skies, and sunny, warm days.
I have hope for the future.
I know I can't predict the future any more than I can predict the weather.
But I have hope.
I have hope because I know who holds my future.
He is the very same One who has held me through all the seasons of my life.
We've had many losses this year. Christmas was much more difficult than I ever thought it would be. Many times, I found myself sensing that something was really wrong with the day because it seemed incomplete. I was surrounded by my children and grandchildren. For that I am so grateful. We had such a great time, but this mother of five kept counting heads and kept coming up short. I don't know if I will ever get over the counting and being shocked anew that one is no longer with us.
The great hole in my heart and in my family will never be filled, yet in the waning light of this day, as the sun sets on 2010, I am grateful for much. I have known more love than I ever thought possible. I have experienced grace that has expanded my soul and deepened my faith. Many loyal friends have been there for me. My family has kept me sane as they laughed and cried along with me on this journey as we try to adjust to our great loss. I look forward to the dawn of a new day and of a new year.
Happy New Year! May the new year bring each of you hope, joy, and many blessings.